What happened at the Everest?
And what would you choose?
Ben’s heart was throbbing in his ears.
His eyes were slowly shutting down, as his heart raced in a futile effort to deliver oxygen.
The snow clad mountains stood in all their glory around him.
Their greatness mocking him.
Mocking his small breaths.
The “Death Zone” of Everest had earned its name.
But how did he end up here?
80 days back he had boarded his flight from California to Kathmandu.
Second time in last 2 years.
He had taught in school, he’d been a mailman too, all to put food on the table.
Life was mundane as he sometimes struggled to make ends meet.
But he wanted to do something.
Something bigger.
That was Everest.
He wanted to be ‘The Regular Man” who touched Everest.
With growing number of people who were reaching the Summit every year, it was possible.
But he had tried it last year.
And failed.
He couldn’t reach the peak. He came back for it again this time.
The group leader Doug had given him a discount cause he couldn’t afford it.
Everything was on line.
That morning, they started their ascend to the Summit.
He had reached till Camp 3 last time, when he couldn’t breathe and had to leave it.
This time he got till Camp 4 and finally to the Death Zone.
His knees buckled, biting cold around him seemed to seep into his bones, and every step ahead felt 100 times heavier. The whole group was already ahead of him.
He mustered everything he could and kept going.
But there was a problem. The turnaround time of the group was 2PM.
That means, everyone had to reach the peak and leave it by 2PM. It was almost past 3 now.
As his steps and breaths became heavier,
Doug came towards him. He was coming back after reaching the top.
“Too late Ben, I’m sorry I have to turn you back. You can’t go beyond this.”
“No..No Doug. It’s just there.”
He could see the peak. He could not have turned back. It was right there.
As if he could touch it.
“No Ben. I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s not safe.”
“Doug, listen to me..I’m not coming back again. I’m not coming here for the third time. This is my only chance.”
Call it hypoxia or sympathy, Doug’s life flashed in front of him.
The happiness of reaching the summit.
Everyone deserved it.
He couldn’t say no.
He turned around and started climbing with Ben to the Summit.
1 hour and the tracherous death zone later, they touched it.
Ben was the mailman who had summitted the Mount Everest.
But he was exhausted. His lungs were giving away, he was now low on oxygen.
He crashed right on the top to take rest but couldn’t pick himself up.
It was 4:30PM now, way too past the turnaround time.
A storm was unfortunately coming this way.
Doug was anxious.
“Come on Ben, come on, we need to go”
“10 more mins, I need O2”
They didn’t have a cylinder.
Doug dragged Ben as they started the descend.
Ben could hear his heart throbbing in his ears now. His body felt weaker and weaker, and the world dizzier.
Just below a ridge, he broke down. He couldn’t get up.
“let’s go Ben. We will get a cylinder a little while away”
Doug tried to get him up.
“Need O” His voice was weaker now.
Doug checked his cylinder. It pointed 0.
Doug tried to use the rope to pull himself forward.
He wanted to get a little ahead so he could pull Ben.
Ben , on the other hand, felt sleepy.
He just wanted to rest a little. Just wanted to go to sleep.
With his oxygen deprived mind, he unclasped his hook from the rope.
He couldn’t balance and tripped into the never ending cliff below.
He was gone.
Forever.
As I think more and more about this, I wonder what killed him?
It was the nature ofcourse.
But what if, he’d just turned back.
What if Doug had in his heart to turn this man away from his dream?
A dream that would kill him.
What if Ben could accept that his body could not pursue it?
The What If’s are endless. You know it, so do I.
However, there are two things at play here.
First, Sunk Cost Fallacy.
In simple words, a situation where you don’t want to give up because you have already spent time, energy, resources on it.
Students keep doing the degree they hate.
People keep being in abusive relationships they know is abusive.
People keep chasing the goals sacrificng everything.
All because “they’ve already spent so much”
Ben had already spent 2 years. Awful lot of money. and he knew he wasn’t coming back.
It only made sense to go forward.
But maybe, he could have been back?
The second and deeper thing that comes to play here is our confidence in knowing ourselves, what we want and what will make us happy.
We believe we can create our best life and it’s just the matter of us deciding what we want and going after it.
In reality, we are psychologically incapable to predict for sure, what will make us happy.
Your brain can only perceive what’s known, so when you choose what you want from future, it’s actually a recreation of an ideal part of the past.
I mean, how many times have you reached the goal and felt it was meh at best.
Or, how you were so against a city change and it turned out to be the best for you.
Maybe Ben thought summiting Everest could make him happy.
Ofcourse it would. I do a small hike and I’m happy.
Atleast he’d have done something huge.
But maybe there could be another huge thing back in the States waiting for him.
Maybe life isn’t about “Summit”ting huge things but reaching the smaller peaks and making them count.
It’s all perception.
Anyway, it’s heartbreaking and as I sit wondering the conflicting advice we get between GO FOR IT and KNOW WHEN TO QUIT,
the reality remains murkier.
Maybe Ben would have chosen the death after the peak again. And again.
Maybe some dreams are worth dying for. Because you’ll be living like a corpse if you don’t get them.
Or maybe, your dreams are a fragment of your past that limits your potential.
And you could do much bigger if you left it.
The choice is yours.
The battle to pick is yours.
And the final question..
What would you have picked?
